So I was talking to my friend the other day and she let me in on her thoughts about the school prayer group that I sorta(not really) lead everyother day. She told me it was a joke and that its just a hang out for people, the prayer part of it is all fake. Well, that really through me off, alot. I was really upset, and for alittle bit it was at her for telling me how she viewed the prayer group, but then i got thinking about it and I was really mad that she didnt see what I saw. I saw a group of people who enjoyed being together, people who aleast have some faith, people who just want to be together. To me its just a safe place to be, filled with people I can just talk to and get to know. In school I really dislike that I dont often get time to jsut talk to people and figure out who they are. I just my prayer group time for that, but to others its all nothing. I like to think that the people I talked to can see God through me and when I talk to them I am doing somthing for God, just little things, I like to think that I make a difference in my school and what she said just robbed me of all the joy that I got from knowing that I did something for God today. I got to thinking about what satesfaction I got from knowing that I did something for God today, then I realised that I didnt need that. I shouldn't need to have that joy, or feel good about myself for doing Gods will. That is just selfish of me, and a little stupid. I know the little things are important and they matter, I know I am making a difference and I dont need some girl to tell me that the prayer group is or isn't amking a difference. She didnt know it then but she really hurt me but I'm not mad infact I'm glad, I got to learn more about myself and what other people saw when they looked at the prayer group. In away I'm glad its that way, it makes it easier for nonchristians to come and feel confortable with all of us. That gives me more of a chance to talk to people, I like my worthless prayer group. I dont want it to be serious like some people think it should be, I want it to be a hang out where we can talk and get to know each other but I like that we do pray because I want the people coming to see that it still its all about God and thats what its all about but I dont want the pressure of having to particapate.
Don't get me wrong I am not mad that this girl shared this with me, I dont want this to turn into something between us, becasue she might read this blog. I have nothing against her, she is my friend, I respect her, and her thoughts.
3 comments:
Is that really what the prayer group is about though? Just a hang out? I don't know cause I obviously don't go to Castle. I guess I just always thought that there was more going on there then just hanging out. Is there?
"Marc" - Go back and read Emmy's blog again and remember to pay close attention to the part about there being prayer and it ultimately being about God.
Emmy - I think it's awesome that you see the importance of relationships in doing God's work. When it comes down to it, that's what my job is all about. Not necessarily 'my' relationships with the students, but making sure the students have a safe place to go where they can create relationships with other people who somewhat have common beliefs or at least are searching for what they believe.
Keep it up Emmy! I miss ya.
Hey emmy, i don't have anything to add to this conversation. just wanted you to know i enoy reading your blog, hearing your thoughts. thanks for sharing.
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